It's official - I'm working on a new album.
On my YouTube channel, I started a new series where I'll be sharing the process of writing this album in real-time, week by week.
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But I began the series by touching on a creative block that's stopped me from making composing vidoes for months...
... and from writing music for myself.
So today, I'd like to talk about that a little more with you.
The last album I wrote was Frostfell in 2020 - an ambient winter-themed soundtrack for a story in my head about a young boy's destiny to save his village from their curse of an eternal winter.
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Truthfully, I wrote Frostfell because I had almost no composing work or audience for my music.
That was my motivation to create the album.
But since then, a lot's changed.
My composing career took off in 2022, thanks to some strategic networking, sharing my music publicly, and opportunistic job-hunting.
(For more on that subject, check out my Composing Career Bootcamp.)
But the BIGGEST change I experienced was that instead of sitting on my hands waiting for opportunities to compose...
... I was being asked to compose non-stop.
Within that year, I wrote 2+ hours of music for Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight, Flashgitz Animation, and lots of other clients:
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But as the muscle for composing for other people strengthened, the muscle for composing for myself weakened.
The only non-client composing work I'd do would be for my YouTube channel - which slowly became another machine that needed feeding as my education business grew.
Suddenly, all of my creative outlets were gone.
And when I sat down to write music for myself, I'd be hit with invasive thoughts like:
- "Wait - how is this going to help your composing career?"
- "But you're already composing for clients - what's the point of doing it in your free time?"
- "Oh, let's turn this into an educational YouTube video!"
Everything I made felt like it had to be re-purposed - for my clients, my students, or my online audience.
And these thoughts paralyzed me creatively.
I stopped uploading music on YouTube for half a year because of it.
Deep down, I knew that the "old fuel" I'd relied on to motivate myself wasn't working anymore.
And to re-kindle my creativity, I'd need to find a new fuel - or re-discover an old one.
So...
I spent the last three months doing all the things I loved doing before I was pursuing composing professionally.
I've been listening to artists like Rachmaninov, decorating my studio to my tastes, taking long walks, and reading dark horror and dystopian fiction.
I've also been embracing my free time to focus on my health - exercising, spending time with friends, and journaling.
Slowly but surely, my artistic tank has been filling back up.
(But I haven't rushed it.)
Until one day...
... the tank was so full that I couldn't HELP but sit down and compose something.
And that spirit of artistic abundance is how this new album has begun - along with me sharing that journey with you all publicly.
Listen - it's not easy to show up for your art.
And it's especially not easy when no one's holding you to it with a deadline or schedule.
But what I'm finding is this:
The more space I allow myself to bask in the art I love - without any expectation of it helping me "get back to work" - the more art naturally flows from me as a surplus of filling my creative tank.
So take a break if you need one.
There's no shame in needing to re-fuel. π
(In that spirit, this newsletter may shift to bi-weekly or even monthly while I prioritize making this album. Be sure to check my YouTube channel to see how it's going!)
π Ready for more?
When you're ready, here's 4 ways I can help:
- π₯ My YouTube. Watch 350+ videos including music tutorials, career tips, and more.
- ποΈ The Newsletter Archive. Read articles from previous weeks of this newsletter.
- π¬ Composing Career Bootcamp. Join my 6-week cohort-based course to learn how to land paid composing work from anywhere in the world. (100+ students, 5 stars)
- π Work Directly with Me. I'm offering private mentorship to select composers interested in working with me on a deeper level. If you're interested, click the link and let's chat.
That's all for now!
Leave a reply to share your thoughts, questions, or just to say hi.
(I love hearing from my readers. π)
Otherwise, happy music-making and I'll see you in the next one!
- Zach
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