Composing Career Bootcamp

Shame Isn't Serving You

🧠 mindset Jul 09, 2024

I’ve struggled with staying physically active for most of my life.

Here’s a little overview of the cycle I run into over and over again:

  1. ✅ Create a solid action plan for exercise + diet
  2. 🤩 Crush it in the beginning
  3. 😐 Lose excitement over time
  4. 😴 Skip at some point
  5. ❌ Never do it again

For years, that cycle has dominated my relationship with exercise.

But I’m starting to change that.

Want to learn how?

There’s lots of psychological shifts that have had to change for me to get to a point where I see exercise as something I look forward to.

But the BIGGEST shift has been the removal of shame as a part of the narrative.


The cycle I shared with you happens because when I fall short of my plans, I experience shame.

The shame I feel creates statements about who I think I am:

  • “Gosh, I’m weak!”
  • “I’m just not a disciplined person.”
  • “Why am I so lazy with this?”

So I start to associate feeling weak, undisciplined, and lazy with the action of exercising.

… Not a very strong incentive to exercise, is it?

So what do we do, instead?

Here’s the key:

Recognize that your shame doesn’t serve you. 

Many of us confuse guilt with shame.

But guilt often leads us to positive action - not negative.

For example, if you step on someone’s foot, the guilt you feel leads you to quickly apologize.

That’s good.

But the shame you might feel would lead you to believe things about yourself.

“God, I’m so clumsy.”

And what good is a thought like that?

Feeling bad about yourself does nothing except keep you held back from being the person you want to be.


You aren’t the sum of of your past actions.

Actions are just actions.

But they don’t define who you are, what you deserve, or what you’re capable of.

Learn to let go of your shame.

You’ll find that when you do, you won’t just accomplish more…

You’ll actually have FUN doing it 🙂

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